IT'S MY BIIRTHDAY...
And I feel like shit. I was actually looking forward to this day but because some unfortunate events that took place, I am left alone today, tomorrow and who knows how long.
I have been so depressed lately, I can't get a hold of myself and it's making me anxious, sad, and tired. I have gone a few days without solid sleep. I can't rest at night, tossing and turning in my sheets keeps me awake for most of the night.
I don't know how to overcome this depression. I try to tell myself to be strong and deal with everything that has been happening but I can't even fool myself into believing it. I have no desire for anything, neither am I looking forward to do anything but shelter myself and stay away from people. Ugh...A month ago or so , I tried overdosing on Oxycottin. I could have been succesful but I decided to listen to to a love interest of mine and allowed myself to be helped.
I was drifting away, my heart started to beat faster and faster and I couldnt breathe, thank god for what happened next. I could have been a gonner. Now, in my current situation I wish I hadn't listened. I would have avoided all of my frustrations and problems. Yeah, I would have been in a place worse than where I am now, but this is as painful.
(singing) Happy birthday to me.
I feel like crying.
BREATHE ME
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe