It’s not that I don't care, but it sure seems that way sometimes. I carry with me a self destructive personality and it sometimes gets in the way. Promises are broken, time is wasted and spent rationalizing instead of accepting the fact that I’m not perfect by any means, and I cannot live the way I want to because my psyche is flawed. It’s not as bad as it used to be though, I’ll give myself that; but it is as predictable as the weather. you know it rains in my life, and when it does, sometimes I'm trying to stay dry by walking in between the raindrops, and other times it's down pouring on me because I don't own an umbrella and it's a hike to the front door. I haven't written a lot lately, and I know why. Self destruction precedes change, and without any thing to feel bad about I almost forget what it's like to be inspired to write about anything. Isn’t that quite ironic.... I need something shitty to happen to balance out who I am and the idea of who I’m holding onto and the people I need to let go. I do acknowledge that they must both exist for me to know myself fully, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with me

believe me, it's not that I don't care....but I can understand how it may feel like that and look like that to everyone else today.