And I feel like shit. I was actually looking forward to this day but because some unfortunate events that took place, I am left alone today, tomorrow and who knows how long.

I have been so depressed lately, I can't get a hold of myself and it's making me anxious, sad, and tired. I have gone a few days without solid sleep. I can't rest at night, tossing and turning in my sheets keeps me awake for most of the night.

I don't know how to overcome this depression. I try to tell myself to be strong and deal with everything that has been happening but I can't even fool myself into believing it. I have no desire for anything, neither am I looking forward to do anything but shelter myself and stay away from people. Ugh...A month ago or so , I tried overdosing on Oxycottin. I could have been succesful but I decided to listen to to a love interest of mine and allowed myself to be helped.

I was drifting away, my heart started to beat faster and faster and I couldnt breathe, thank god for what happened next. I could have been a gonner. Now, in my current situation I wish I hadn't listened. I would have avoided all of my frustrations and problems. Yeah, I would have been in a place worse than where I am now, but this is as painful.

(singing) Happy birthday to me.

I feel like crying.